I’ve learned the hard way that what we may believe to be a guarantee is actually a gift in this life. I’ve spiraled over frustrations and entitlements thinking, I deserved more. And yet, the very thing I thought I was entitled to was something I couldn’t earn or deserve in the first place. What I thought to be a guarantee or a right, instead was a gift.

All of life is, really.

True friendships – the kind that stick around even when they’ve seen the ugly parts of you – are a gift. Jobs that we love (with coworkers we enjoy) are a gift. Open doors that feel miraculous, dreams fulfilled, expectations met, falling in love, that love ending in marriage, good health, having children, growing old –

all the good and beautiful things in this life are a gift. So, too, can be the tears and the heartache if we’re brave enough to face them.

Why does it matter if we see them as so?

The way we regard all the tiny little miracles influences how we carry them, and how open handed we are if we lose them. When we feel entitled to something, we can be proud while we have it, and bitter once we’ve lost it. When we see gifts as gifts, our hearts can’t help but be grateful. We cherish them while we have them, and sing songs of thanksgiving even if we’ve lost them because we recognize we didn’t do anything to deserve their coming into our lives in the first place.

When we realize whatever we have is a gift, we cherish it. We hold it close – not with idolatry, but a spirit of praise. When we see our loved ones as gifts, we’re more present to them. We give and receive freely because we see their presence in our lives as blessings, not burdens or entitlements. We recognize that for as long as we know them, they deserve our gratitude, attention and affections.

Because Jesus bore our sins in his body, we have everything we could ever need. His sacrificial love changes the way we carry our gifts and blessings. We don’t need to go looking for satisfaction or provision in other places because we already have it in Him. No other friendship, relationship, or blessing can compare to the weight of His glory. If we try to place anything else in the highest position in our lives, we’ll become disappointed every time. Relationships, jobs, families, dreams, and the like were never meant to fill that kind of space, even though we try and try again. Jesus alone can handle the weight of being our reason for living because the price he paid was a gift to us given in absolution, and everything after it is an added blessing from a Good Father who gives good gifts. He can carry the weight of our expectations, hopes, and dreams because he carried the weight of the cross for all of humanity already.

When God sits on His rightful throne, all the people, places, and opportunities where we would once try to satisfy our longings can become exactly what they’re meant to be. Our gifts get to be gifts – ones that we cherish, free from pressure and grasping, discontent and entitlement.

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I have felt more acquainted with bitterness in my heart than thanks at times, and the root of this is usually feeling entitled to something from someone. When I haven’t received what I think I deserve, I grow frustrated, and stop seeing life through the lens of the gospel. I stop seeing the gifts in my life as gifts.

Recently, the Lord opened my eyes to see how I have taken blessings for granted – wrestling with contentment, regularly trying to skip ahead to the next thing rather than delighting in the present moment. I’ve ruined the here and now by wondering where I was headed next. I have thought I was entitled to certain things from others, and have created deep chasms in some of those relationships as a result. I, too, have improperly stewarded joy, and I don’t think I’m the only one.

So many of us are tired and weary, discouraged and doubting. So many of us feel lost and confused, or like we’re on the wrong path. We’re disgruntled in relationships because we’re hoping for more, or not getting what we want. We’re searching in all the wrong places for our satisfaction, and our peace and joy are threatened because of it. I can’t help but think gratitude and delight in our Father (or the lack thereof) has much to do with that.

We’ve forgotten that nothing is guaranteed. We’ve forgotten where to find true rest and peace. We’ve forgotten how to give and receive freely.

Through this wrestling in my own heart, I’ve realized how often we overlook the wonders of this life. I’ve missed miracles because instead of relishing in the beauty of the present, and thanking God for what I have, I’ve daydreamed my way into uncertain futures. In many ways, this is where I find myself now, and the Lord has been inviting me to just be here now. Not in a hurry to figure it all out, or get that thing I want, but to just be present to this current moment. Maybe you need to hear that, too.

Why is it so easy to forget that Jesus is God With Us, life is beautiful just as it is, and there are blessings here and now, not just in the one day?

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A mentor used to say the ultimate gift was Jesus on the cross, and everything else after that is just an added bonus, a gift to be cherished. Whenever she said this, I remember the tension in my spirit as I rattled off all the desires and dreams I had for my life. What about marriage? What about parenthood? What about making music, and writing a book? What about having a house that feels like home, where I get to grow old? What about seeing the world?

Some of the deepest heartaches in my life have been the very things to help me realize none of those hopes are guaranteed, but even still, I have all that I need. If none of those dreams ever come to pass, Jesus is still enough for me.

Does this mean we stop dreaming, or planning, or praying, or choosing? By no means. Dreaming is a beautiful act of hope and faith – one we would do well to partake in more. Planning, too, is good stewardship. But the fulfillment of every single goal, aspiration, hope and dream isn’t proof of a good God. We have all that we need in Jesus to know that He is. All the rest is added blessing from a God of abundance.

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The reality of knowing God, and knowing His love for us, is that many dreams do come to pass. He came for life abundant, and God loves watching His children delight in the beauty of His creation. People fall in love, and build beautiful families. They watch their kids grow up, and dream big dreams, too. Marriages last, and people grow old together. Mustard seed hopes and dreams become reality. But equally so, prayers go unanswered, and hopes are left unfulfilled.

That’s the tension of living today and awaiting the completion of Christ’s restorative work here on Earth through his second arrival.

We have and we have not.

If the gratitude we had for our lives rested on whether or not we get everything we want or hoped for, we would miss out on a lot. We’d forego delighting in life’s little pleasures, and wonders of the world. The morning quiet, the shared laughter, the simple meals around secondhand tables, and the milestones we forget to measure.

All that we have, and all that we are waiting for, are gifts from a God who loves us and cares not only about the desires of our hearts, but the transformation of them too. It would be a shame if we never realized how blessed we are to just know and be known by God, and to count all the rest as their own little miracles until He calls us home.

A Holy Undeserving

Life is a gift because we didn’t deserve it in the first place. We deserved the cross. But we’re here, raised to new life in Jesus, saved by His grace, and as a result we are invited to cherish this one wild and precious life we’ve been given. To honor God and glorify Him. To let every word and every deed be done in the name of Jesus. Through him, we are commissioned to live life abundantly, believing him wholeheartedly when He says He came so that we could have life to the full.

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Time after time, God has had to wake me up to His grace again, and the giftedness of life with Him. By loving and losing, I’ve learned how easily we take our greatest blessings for granted, but I don’t want to do that anymore. Maybe you, reader, would like to join me in the pursuit of gratitude and praise for all that this life has to offer – for as long as we have it.

May we live with open hands, and a grateful heart – not in a way that dismisses pain and sorrow, but that fights for joy amidst it.

May we celebrate the little things like they’re the big things (because they are).

May we go looking for satisfaction and wholeness in Jesus, rather than from people and places that can never properly provide, so that they can be cherished and valued in the ways that honors them and God.

May we dream. May we plan. May we have eyes to see the miracles all around us.

Life is a gift. May we see it as so.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6